I have a clear preference for Extraversion. Most people that know me would never mistake me for having a preference for Introversion; I am expressive and easy to get to know. I am open and direct with my feelings and thoughts – people know where I stand on most issues. I can be wildly enthusiastic and energetic about what I love, one of those things being type; so much so that once I was “reprimanded” on a performance review for “having too much enthusiasm about that thing called the MBTI.” I was even asked once by a co-worker if I had “taken something” before work! I dont shy away from being the center of attention (most would say that is an understatement) and my husband had a running joke with people around the time of our wedding that we had to keep expanding the guest list to accomodate my ever growing number of newly acquired friends, like the checkout woman from the supermarket, for instance. I truly get my energy from being in, and interacting with, the world outside of myself.
You can imagine my difficulty early in my career with understanding repeated personal experiences that do not fall within the category of my extraverted preference. For instance, looking back at Spring break in college, I recall that the thought of going to Ft. Lauderdale with a large froup of friends made me shiver – spending an entire week with a gaggle of girls, sleeping in the same quarters? Sharing a bathroom? Partying until all hours? A nightmare in the making! I ended up going, because it seemed like the “in” thing to do, but I was never so relieved as when Great Aunt Verna, living in Florida in her retirement years, picked me up for an early bird dinner at a local restaurant where we enjoyed prime rib, quiet conversation and a gin and tonic.
When I started my consulting practice in 2001, it astounded me (and those that know me) that the thought of going to networking events – where I don’t know anyone – and chatting about the weather and business and the economy and what I do for a living, left me cold. I retreat from those events, not because I don’t want to sell my services, but because I find it uncomfortable to keep up the small talk. I don’t like to join committees, Boards, or other community groups and events. I shy away from neighborhood block parties and garage sales, and find that at larger social gatherings, I like to talk one-on-one with people I know rather than work the room making small talk with people I don’t. I am certain of my preference for Extraversion, so how do these experiences and many others like them fit with my type which is ENFJ?
The MBTI® Step II™ had some answers for me. The Step II™ Interpretive Report, generated through the Form Q, cannot provide all of the answers about the individuality of type, but it can provide you and your clients with insights about the different expressions of type. Isabel Myers researched 20 different Facets of type, 5 for each of the 4 MBTI® Dichotomies. The Step II™ is the result of that research and provides information about the expression of type through each of these Facets. MBTI® Facets can either be in-preference (congruent with your preference on a particular Dichotomy) or out-of-preference (in the opposite direction from your preference).
On the E-I Dichotomy, The Facet of Gregarious-Intimate provides information about the depth and breadth of our relationships; I scored as an “Intimate ENFJ”. This means that I express this Facet of my preference for Extraversion in an introverted way. I prefer one-on-one interactions or small groups, and in large groups I seek out people I know for conversation and spend the rest of the time just listening. It also means I prefer to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with people that are important to me. These results are confirming.
When I review and think about my Interpretive Report it reminds me of some of the basic, yet hard to remember, key tenents of the model of Psychological Type:
- That type does not put us in a box;
- That the characteristics and Facets associated with each particular Dichotomy will not fit every person of a particular type;
- That the old addage, “every man is like every other man and like no other man” applies to one’s type (for me, I am like every other ENFJ and like no other ENJF); and
- That an understanding of our opposite will lead us to appreciate and embrace those differences in others.
In the context of self-awareness and growth, the MBTI® Step II™ Interpretive Report provided me with a doorway into listening more closely to my need for Introversion; to become more conscious and aware of how it feels for me when I am in a large group and prefer to be more silent when I am uncomfortable. If I pay attention to those times when I am feeling like retreating from the group, it reminds me that I need to keep working to accept and become more comfortable with the introverted part of myself, embracing a bigger picture of who I am.